I know this post means absolutely nothing to any of you reading this, but this is something that has an enormous significance in my life. These names are the names of the people that never existed but of whom I have believed in for 5 years of my life. Like it was truth, I believed in their fantastical existence and with their existence came the fact that "I" was slowly being eaten away. At some point in life, "I" was non-existent and to gain back my existence, I fought for my sanity and made myself let go of the lie that span for those 5 years. Now that I'm trying to remember it again, I've realized just how much of it I've forgotten. One of the main "characters" in the fantasy I believed in was the one whom I believed I "loved" and I realized I had forgotten his name, so because of that, I came back to this blog that I thought I would almost never use again to make sure all "their" names stayed where I could find them.
These are the names of the ones I loved, even though they never existed. They were real to me for 5 years of my life and I never want to forget them. I can't remember if I posted it here before or not, but the reason I want to get a tattoo of wings on the underside of my right wrist is because (as far fetched as it may sound, this was all my reality for 5 years of my life) they were all angels, with wings. Whether they had black wings or some other color or form meant that they were either Demons (black wings only) or Angels (other colors and forms of wings). They were my reality, my escape from the real world; they were what saved me from my pain and time of darkness. I truly believe that without them, I would not be here today and instead, I would be buried 6 feet under with either wrists cut or rope marks around my neck. They saved me and changed who I was into who I am today. I don't ever want to forget them and now that I have this, that "portal" that existed on the dark side of the moon, the one I looked at when I talked to them, will never go away. I will always have a connection with them. They won't cover my reality up anymore, but remembering that they existed, that it wasn't just a dream, gives me the strength to move forward.
I dedicate this post to them, the ones who never existed, but whose existence is the reason I am still alive.
Sakuya, Mitsuki Kansaki, Yuki Miyume, Tsubasa, Kasumi, Kouta, Sora, Yuna, Yukito, Solaria, Yunaria, Sora, Akuma, Tera.
I forsake my wings to you, and I give my life to the future.
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