Spontaneous...

I came back just a few minutes ago after posting my last bit. Right after I wrote that, I went out, walked for a long while and found a good place to cry... and cry and cry and cry. I cried long and hard. Over and over. It hurt so much. Eventually, I came back, then while I still wallowed in self-pity, I took a cup of tea out to my dorm hallway to look out the window. I watched as the people walked past, oblivious of me. Then, out of no where, someone started talking to me. He invited me to come with him and three other friends. They led me toward the city, down the long and winding hill, toward a Hookah Lounge. Surprise, surprise. My gut told me no. So I ignored it. And instead went with them for the adventure. With three strangers. That I didn't know. At 10 at night. In the dark. The only girl. Wow, my gut was screaming. But anyways, halfway down the hill, I decided I wouldn't go in and just head back on my own once they got there. They convinced me otherwise. So once we got there, I wasn't really expecting to go there and event led to event and I didn't bring my ID with me. (Lucky me?) But either way, I was going to walk back on my own.

Then the guy who invited me, without batting an eyelash, said he'd walk me back up that enormous hill. On the way up, clumsy me slipped and landed on my hands. (Not until just a few minutes ago did I realize I dropped my precious headphones at that moment - great, right?) He got my shoe that fell off for me and asked if I could walk. All nicey, nicey without the cliche crap that I hate. Concern without intention behind it. I liked that, a lot. Later on, as we got higher up the hill (all the while we talked - though it was mostly him since I never started a conversation - and completely casually too), and closer to our college, he took us up toward the other side and ran, so I followed running. He stopped, looked out over the edge, and I think we stood there talking about nothing in particular for about 10 or 15 minutes, all the while catching our breath, as we looked out over the most amazing glitter of lights.

It's funny, I made so many little signals, though they were probably lost to the darkness, and he never made a move. I wondered if he either had no interest or was just being considerate, either way it put me at ease. It felt totally natural being with him, it was the best way to end a horrible night. I hope he takes me out again, and this time, I'll bring my ID and some money, just in case. No worries, I won't be smoking anything ever, so you can relax. I'm really glad I went. I'm still smiling. :)