I want... him

I feel empty, sad. Like I'm missing something... someone. God, why does it feel like I need to have sex, or at least some sort of sexual interaction, to make this empty pain go away. I've moved. I'm out of that house, but this feeling doesn't lessen. It hurts. Make it stop. I need someone. Please. Someone, wherever you are, come up to me and hunt me down. Don't let me go. Grasp at me and hold me tight. I don't like this emptiness. It's too painful. It hurts. It hurts so very much. I don't want to be alone.

I feel so desperate... saying all this. I know it's useless. I know it won't change anything, but I needed a place to put my thoughts. I have nothing else. I need someone to make all the pain seem pointless. Someone who won't make me feel forced to talk when I eat across from them, just to still the silence, even though I prefer eating in silence. Someone who will sit there with me, hold my hand, smile at me when I look up form my food and make me blush. Someone who will take me out and around, my hand held tightly in their's, just so I get outside and so I feel like I have a purpose in being there. Someone who will let me lay on their chest and just run my fingers up and down there skin, just to reassure myself that they are really there. Someone who will force a kiss on me as I push away in a purposely fruitless way. Someone who will lick my tears away, kiss my eyes, and hush me, saying they are there and they won't leave. Someone who will get jealous when another guy looks at me and then prove to me I'm his by taking my body in his hand. Someone who won't let me feel lonesome. Someone who is there. Someone who won't stop being there. Someone who wants to be there. Someone who will make the silences between us natural instead of awkward. Someone who will tell me "You're mine" instead of "I love you" because he would know that those words have no meaning to me. Someone who will slowly give those words back their meaning with the heat of his passion. Someone who will stand beside me not as equals, but as a man and his possession. Someone who will mark me and make me his through physical action, not through words. Someone who is strong enough physically and mentally to bare the burden of owning me.

I want to belong to him, and him alone. I've said it so many times, I've waited and waited. I want nothing more. I want to be his. I want to know what he looks like, what he feels like, what he tastes like, what he sounds like. I want nothing more. I want only to be his possession. It's not much, just to meet him, or to kiss him, or to have his affection. Just that. Please, even that. I want... him. I know he's out there. I've seen people like me with their match, with their owner. I just have to wait, right? I don't want to wait anymore... I want him. So much more than I can bare. I'm so lonely.