The right feeling...

Right now, I'm super excited about writing more of my story. I have (currently) 1 finished short story, 1 to-be-finished short story, and a short novel that is my pride and joy. The short novel is called "Royal Golds" and its one of my favorite stories out of all the ones I've written. The main character is not only really cool, but he has powers too! XD Either way, I love that story, and I can't wait to see how it ends. More than a writer with my stories, I'm also the main reader and biggest fan of them as well. However, in order to write them and have the whole story link together fluently, I have to be in the correct state of mind, with the right feeling. To be honest, its hard to explain, but the point is, I love writing them just to find out what happens! The picture that is next to this post is the cover that I am using for my short novel... eventually, I plan to post it up somewhere online, but who knows... ^-^

Friends and Lovers...

When a friend falls hard, in and out of love, its hard to give sympathy when you yourself don't understand it; love that is.... She's my best friend, and she doesn't allow me to touch her, a gesture that is all I know how to give in sympathetic times. It gets harder that way, but as long as I can give her the support of a friend who stays by her side and understands what she feels without asking, then that's all I will ask for. I just hope that, when I fall in love, she will give me her guidance as a spectator and a close friend. I love her, and she will always be special to me, thank you for letting me stay by you my dear best friend.

Not much happening lately...

So far, its been pretty boring... I've got nothing much to do lately, but I guess things are going well? O.O? Anyways........ lalalalalala~ ...yea, I got nothing....

Wow...

Geeze, I haven't posted something in a while... not much to post though... so, I guess... whatever? O.O?

It feels like...

It feels like, the person who will hold me close when I sleep - so warm their arms would be, so strong their comforting heart, and how kind their gaze - they seem like they are standing right in front of me,and yet, I can't seem to reach out and touch them. When I look at pictures like this, I feel like I could just go and sleep in the arms of the person I love right at that moment, but then, I realize that its all not so, and I feel so scared that I might be this lonely forever. That scares me, more than you'll ever know... I wish I had someone to hold me as I slept, maybe then, I wouldn't be so scared to wake up and find that I'm totally alone in this house... I just want someone who will be there when I wake up in the morning... the first thing I want to see when I wake up is his face, smiling and calm as he holds me in his arms...

It's painful...

It sucks... being a teenager is tormenting.... There are things that I yearn for, and that I desire and lust for, and it makes me so embarrassed when I think about them in class.... It makes me feel like having a boyfriend is just a dream that will never come true. To tell you the truth, I really want to know what it feels like to fall in love, to hold a guys hand, to touch and to feel what it feels like when others touch you. Teenagers always think about this kind of stuff, and especially when they like someone. For me, I've already been rejected twice, and that just makes the dream so much further away. Liking someone is painful... especially when you're so lonely you can hardly bare it. Unfortunately, I'm unable to even confide in my friends on that, and that just makes the fear and loneliness even worse... sadness, fear, and pain never seem to rest in my mind. But! No matter what, (as one of my policies that I live my life by) even if I'm so sad I could care less about life, I know that this is not my life to live, and not my life to toy with. It's the life of my future self, a life that I cherish dearly and tenderly and I will always smile, no matter how painful it is, I will smile and keep waiting patiently until the time comes that I can be happy too, and finally know what it feels like to smile from the bottom of my heart.

Alrighty...!

Anime club was AWESOME!!! Dude!!! I met so many people! I even found some new friends! Plus! I found yaoi friends too!!! Yippy!!! XD

He fits right in...!

I might not be the most normal person in my school, but, I sure do have school spirit! And, besides, if a guy like in this picture appeared at my school, I wouldn't be so weird anymore! Plus!!! I might get to be his friend XD

My love for you...

I love my Grandma and Grandpa more than they even know. I might not be able to see them as much as I'd like, but no matter what, they will always be in my heart. :D More than anyone else, I trust them will all my secrets, and I'm very proud of that! Your cute little granddaughter loves you guys!!!

I can't stand it...! >:(

My mom... one word, and one word alone, can describe what I hate most about her! ANNOYING!!! Geeze, she just gets on my nerves! Urg! Can't stand it! ......So blogs are good for venting too... cool!!! XD

To you...

I have one really good friend, she makes me laugh all the time, and I have absolutely no idea what i would do without her... Just today, she and I were talking at our usual hang out, she saw a leaf that looked like a mustache:

"Hey! That leaf looks like a mustache!"

"Really? Where?"

"Right there!" then she points to a tree...

"That doesn't help... -_-" she rules XD

Anyways, on my way home (a 45 minute walk - lots of time to think) I started to think, what if she suddenly disappeared? I started thinking into it some more, and I realized I depended on her so much, and found her as a part of my life so much, that if she did disappear, I would probably never be able to speak again... I love my best friend, and it makes me sad thinking about a future that's unknown to me... V.V

It really is weird...!

I have absolutely no idea why! BUT! I have just one question for all of the people who are kind enough to actually care about one of my most random statements ever! ...What is the one part of your body that you totally admire and find mystifying? For me, it's my wrists. Not too sure why, but whenever I look at them, they just look like they are missing something... it really is weird...!

On that note...!

Here's to making a new blog! Woot! XD ...ok, I'm not going to go on about who I should thank or anything (though I do owe one person some due thanks), but I'm totally new to blogging, and frankly, I'm still a little lost on that subject. I really don't even understand quite yet what a blog really is, or what it's really for, but I thought it looked interesting. I'm not all that good with talking to people face to face, but I'm very chatty online. Talk to me all you like :D and I will be totally ecstatic that someone actually posted something! Well, that is, if you don't mind me going a little crazy once and a while. XD