Romance under the stars...

At the beginning of the year, I had met what I believed to be one of the first guys I really just enjoyed the company of. He was into all the same stuff I was and we always had something fun to talk about. He quickly became a very good friend, dear and precious to me. As time went on, however, I found that I liked his personality and not just his looks. I found the urge to touch him in simple little ways growing with time, slowly escalating to the urge to kiss him. He was suddenly so much more attractive than I originally thought. I loved his company, I loved being around him, I felt at peace near him, and nothing felt forced or tense at any time. We talked because we wanted to, not because we felt like it, and just a few minutes ago, I got back from one of the best experiences I had with him.

We had originally gone out to explore the night with another friend of mine that I had spent the day with. (On the off note, during the day we also playing in a fountain... IT WAS AWESOME!!! But anyways...) As the night went on, we headed toward the stadium at a time where we were just watching the sun set while the girls' soccer team finished practice. When the sun had gone down and out of sight, with the last bits of light left, we went to the actual field, with the artificial turf on it. There we ran around, and just played like idiots because we could. When the night sky started to glow with the traces of stars off in the distance, I decided to lay down. A few moments later, the guy (named Alexander) laid down next to me. I scooted a bit closer so that our heads were at the same level. At this point in time, my other friend (named Kia) was still with us and we just stared at the sky making sense of the shining lights in forms of pictures.

At some point, Kia decided to leave us two. Right before she left, when I lifted my head to fix my hair, Alexander moved his arm under my head and I didn't refuse it in the slightest. Somewhere in my mind I felt we made Kia uncomfortable (in my head we were flirting with each other and neither of us would say we liked each other), making Kia feel like the third wheel. (SORRY KIA!) But after she had left, we kind of slowly got closer and closer, the arm-pillow becoming an elbow-pillow, then a shoulder-pillow, and finally just laying on my side with my face resting on his chest while his arm kind of wrapped around my back.... We were cuddling.... It was comfortable and nice.... >3< We also saw a shooting star that night, and what's amazing about that, is that when we had come out to the stadium maybe a month or two back, we also saw a shooting star. I wanted to think it was some sort of sign... but I don't really believe in that kind of stuff... so I'll make believe that I do for just this moment. :3

Later on, he started to shiver and I kept bringing it up every time he would get those really bad shivers and say we should go back because he was cold, but just like me, he's stubborn and until 2 hours later when I decided holding my pee in any longer was a bad idea, I lifted myself up and took him with me. But keep in mind he kept getting me to leave him be cold for, oh I don't know, over maybe 15 times of this conversation:

Me: "You're shivering, we should go."
Him: "Why do you want to leave so badly?"
Me: "Because you're cold!"
Him: "Not really."
Me: "Hmph *continues stargazing*"

My point is.... Well actually, I'm not completely sure what my point was, but by this point I'm just smiling remembering all this, and the subtle moved his hand to poke my head, cover my eyes, or hold me was so very nice~. I'm crushing hard and I don't care~ I'm not going to confess though. I've had too many experiences where I confess or the other guy confesses and then the relationship between us gets really awkward and then ends completely. I don't want that to happen again, so I'm going to wait till he says something and I'll see where things go from there, and since I already know my answer to a confession from him would be "Yes," I don't feel like I have to worry about our friendship quite as much if he confesses instead of me. I've given him all the signs, so maybe he feels the same. Or maybe he just sees me as a friend he doesn't mind having physical contact with... and I don't know how I'd feel about that in the long run, but for right now, that's just fine by me. For now, at least.