Saturday, October 2, 2010

Well...


A lot has happened, however, when I feel that low on the emotional scale, its hard to write about it. I was literally as low as I could get. Fear, pain, heartache. I hate feeling that way, but I found that, no matter who is around me, I'm too afraid to tell them why I feel like that. I feel as though, if i do tell them, the things they might tell me are going to make things worse or I might and up forgetting the feelings that made me so sad. I, in turn, am unable to tell them a thing, and have to find my own safety in darkness as I wait in a corner in my mind for someone who will reach there hand out to me. Do you know how, when you get hurt, someone always asks: "Are you alright?" When I hear that I get very annoyed, I hate being asked that. The reason being, when someone asks that, its like they don't care enough to notice that something is obviously wrong. If someone really cares, and actually notices that something is wrong, then, instead of asking, they notice and reply accordingly. The way I phrased in, while I was still so very sad, said it all:
"I'm lonely, resented, and scared... If you want to know my pain, do not ask; If you want me to tell you, do not leave me; If you have forgotten me, do not speak; I you ask me, I will not answer; If you love me, I will stay by your side; If you care in silence, my voice will be heard; If you hold me and shield me from my tears, I will cry in your warmth; If I cry, will you wipe my tears and kiss them away for all of time?"

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