You know, after all the things I've read, watched, and gotten turned on by, I think I've slowly turned myself into a masochist. I know, bad right?! I realized in the past month or so that I like the kind of guy who is slightly sadistic, controlling, manipulative, someone who can force me into submission and put me at their mercy, and yet at the same time kind and gentle. Contradicting, yet somehow, erotic. I really feel like I'm getting picky lately. Also, I caught myself just the other day as I passed by this guy I had a crush on (not an uncommon thing now days) and I thought, and I quote, "I really want him to just push me against the wall with all his strength, grab my wrists and hold me there as he kisses my violently and passionately." I'm a perv.... It's so wrong!!!! I keep thinking, "What is wrong with me?!" and then I think, "...I really want a boyfriend...." I think this is mainly the result of just being sexually frustrated and not knowing how to relieve it myself. (I know its completely inappropriate right now, but I've never once been able to fully experience an orgasm or come :'( It makes me sad...) Well... I'm just hoping that I get a boyfriend before (at most) the end of my freshman year in college. I fear that if I don't, I'll be so frustrated that I will end up going out with whoever, having sex with whoever whenever and where ever, and end up pregnant before I turn 25.... Not a good idea! Boyfriend troubles, break ups, at that point, none of it would matter since I'd be way too horny to care. The only thing at that would be going through my mind is, "God, just give me sex and make me come!!!" I'm too damn much of a horny, slutty, pervert! It freaking sucks! And to top it all off, I'm also a freaking masochist! ...Well... can't get much worse, right? (Least I hope so O.O - on another note... my blog seems to be turning into a porno site... *looks at pictures*)
